This song was only released in Morrissey's "Southpaw Grammar" album which didn't include lyrics (except for the first 16 lines below, printed in the album's original edition). For these, additions to the printed lyrics are in darker text while omissions are striken out. The rest is written down as heard. Lyrics reproduced without permission.

There's too many people
planning your downfall
when your spirit's on trial
these nights can be frightening
sleep transports sadness
to some other mid-brain
but and somebody here
will not be here next year
so you stand by the board
full of fear and intention
and if you think that they're listening
well you've got to be joking
oh you understand change
and you think it's essential ¹
but when your profession
is humiliation

Say the wrong word to our children ²
we'll have you, oh yes, we'll have you
lay a hand on our children
and it's never too late to have you
mucus on your collar
a nail up through the staff chair
a blade in your soap and
you cry into your pillow

To be finished would be a relief ³
to be finished would be a relief
to be finished would be a relief
to be finished would be a relief
to be finished would be a relief
to be finished would be a relief

Say the wrong word to our children ²
we'll have you, oh yes, we'll have you
lay a hand on our children
and it's never too late to have you

To be finished would be a relief ³
to be finished would be a relief
to be finished would be a relief
to be finished would be a relief
to be finished would be a relief
to be finished would be a relief

(sample:)
I'm very glad the spring has come
The sun shines out so bright
All the birds that are on the trees
Are singing for delight

 

¹ In live performances of this song in 1995 and 2000 Morrissey often sang "in fact you think it's essential". He also did this a few times on the 1997 Maladjusted tour and the 1999 half of the Oye Esteban tour.

² In all live performances of this song these two verses were dropped so the live version wouldn't last 10 minutes like the song does on the album.

³ On the 1999 portion of Oye Esteban tour Morrissey sometimes joked by singing "To be Finnish would be a relief". Then to make sure nobody missed the pun, he followed this with "to be Mexican would be a relief, to be Scottish would be relief, etc..." On American dates in late 1999 or early 2000 he actually talked or mumbled undecipherable words over Alain's back vocals of these lines. On the 2000 American leg of the Oye Esteban tour he sometimes self-deprecatingly extended "to be finished would be a relief" with "...for you".

Quotes

In a 1995 interview published in Les Inrockuptibles magazine, Morrissey said "There are, of course, two levels of interpretation: the line [To be finished would be a relief] in the song context - these teachers who are afraid of their pupils and dream of escaping - and a second more intimate, more personal thought on my life and career. To leave would effectively be a relief. Not to feel all this pressure anymore, to be able to let up a bit."