This song was only released on Morrissey's "Southpaw Grammar" album which didn't include lyrics. They are transcribed here without permission, as they are heard.

I turn the music down ¹
but I don't know why
This is my house

I turn the music down
but I don't know why
This is my house

The best friend on the payroll
No no no
It's not gonna work out
It's not gonna work out
No no no no

The best friend on the payroll
Oh no no no
It's not gonna work out
It's not gonna work out

More breakfast in bed
and I'll bring the paper in later ²

The best friend on the payroll
Oh no no no
It's not gonna work out
It's not gonna work out
No no no no

The best friend on the payroll
Oh no no no
It's not gonna work out
It's not gonna work out

More breakfast in bed
and I'll bring the paper in later

The best friend on the payroll
No no no
It's not gonna work out
It's not gonna work out
No no no no

The best friend on the payroll
No no no no
It's not gonna work out
It's not gonna work out

 

² In early acoustic versions of this song recorded during the Miraval sessions for the "Southpaw Grammar" album Morrissey sang "Oh not for me though".

Note: This song was played live for the first time in 2009. On the first few performance it was done quite faithfully. Then Morrissey started changing the second consecutive occurrence of the line "It's not gonna work out" to "This is not gonna work out" (earlier in the tour) or "It's just not gonna work out" (later in the tour), and near the end of the song, to "How the hell can it work out".