10 October 2002|
Metro City, Perth, Australia
I Want The One I Can't HaveMorrissey's second concert ever in Australia, and his first one in ten years, was a success. Morrissey actually mentioned his 1991 visit and the cancelled dates that followed at least twice throughout the concert (read further). Despite being jetlagged he was as playful and talkative as he had been earlier on the tour. The fans were ecstatic and generally receptive but perhaps not as energetic as typical European or American crowds. They were quite a few hecklers in the front rows and they called Morrissey "Mozza" when they shouted his name. Some of the beckoning was kind, but a lot of it was irritating, at least to the fans standing nearby, if not to Morrissey himself. The man still managed to remain patient and politely or wittily dealt with the hecklers. No one made it on stage.
There were no surprises in the setlist. Its content was the same as it had been earlier in the year, including new compositions "Irish Blood, English Heart", "The World Is Full Of Crashing Bores", "First Of The Gang To Die", "I Like You" and "Mexico".
When he entered stage Morrissey greeted the audience by acknowledging that it had been a long time since his last visit: "Hello Perth!... It's that time of the decade... We, as me, is Morrissey... and the bells will just never stop ringing. Hello!" After set opener "I Want The One I Can't Have" he added "And welcome to an evening of posh words and scruffy music..." He then told his favourite fan "Julia, I can't believe you're here... I can't believe I'm here... How did you make it? Julia's here, it's unbelievable..." After "Little Man, What Now?" he said "We have of course crossed 38 continents to be here and (crowd cheers)... you would of course live so far away, tsk-tsk-tsk-tsk... And of course we're all jetlagged and s-s-ssick and flu and blurgh-blurgh... What? (repeats what is told to him) You're worth it? Ah, believe me, believe me, I know, I can s-s-sssmell the cologne coming off of the stage..."
Over the opening bars of "Hairdresser On Fire" Morrissey asked someone in the audience "Who are you phoning?" After the song he told the story of his last visit to Australia: "Nobody here tonight will remember but 10 years ago we were actually scheduled to play (crowd reacts and Morrissey giggles)... As I was saying, nobody will remember this but ten years ago we were scheduled to play in this city and, of course, as soon as we arrived, Bighead catches Asian Flu and we had to return to Stinkland and the hate mail I received from Australia was unbelievable, you bastards!... And I was the one with Asian Flu! Jesus! Jesus!..." This lead straight into the introduction of the next planned number: "This is a new song, well it was new a year ago.. and it's called (gets interrupted by a heckler) Uh? You should bring your own microphone, you really should... You should know the next time. This is called (interrupted again)... Get what? Hmmm... the youth of today have too much to say. This is called 'The First Of The Gang To Die'..." Over the opening lines of the latter number Morrissey asked someone "How do you help?"
The crowd favourite "Jack The Ripper" was introduced with the line "Now, of course in Australia there is no such thing as murder... there's no such thing as (gets interrupted, mocks fan in pirate voice)... there's no such thing as serial killers... and we started the trend... and I continue it... and this song is about (gets interrupted by someone asking that he kicks someone out) What, kick it out? Who? What mean person would kick him out? I'm quite busy at the moment..." After the song he addressed the subject of the Australian soap opera Neighbours: "So, if you forgive us for not turning up 10 years ago we, we will forgive you for some of the most bloody dreadful television programmes ever in the history of the moving human... This, how do you manage it? We won't mention the 'N' word... You don't know how we've suffered because of N... (guitarist Alain mumbles something undecipherable) That was Alain by the way... We had his tongue removed a few weeks ago so you won't understand what he's saying... This song is called 'I Like You'... I believe..."
Following "I Like You" Morrissey replied to someone shouting that they loved him: "It will pass, it will pass... you'll discover rugby and this will all be like a bad dream... I know, it happened to me!" A line in "Alsatian Cousin" was slightly changed to "leather elbows on a tweed coat, Jesus! is that the best you can do?" After the song Morrissey mentioned the fact that his debut album "Viva Hate", on which that song was originally released, had a different title in Australia: "That song was on the very first album which, for some absolutely unknown reason, was released in this country with a different title, ti-tle... No... No, not 'Viva Hate', no... What?... (someone shouts 'Education In Reverse') Yes, the man knows... A music buff, obviously... (someone makes barking sounds, Morrissey giggles and says) People make such extraordinary sounds... This song is - Boz, this song is definitely called... (to Boz) Say that into mike, for the folks..." Boz complied and announced "It's called 'Mexico'!"
Morrissey must not have been satisfied with his performance of the latter new composition because he followed it with the self-deprecating "Thank you for that generous and understanding applause... it's grimly appreciated..." Following a very well received "Everyday Is Like Sunday" he said "We are humbled... how'd that be... Boz? Nothing! Alain? Nothing! Just kidding... The Freemantle throat, it sends you a bit crazy!.. I'm addicted to Night Nurse, I don't want to say..." New composition "The World Is Full Of Crashing Bores" was introduced with the message "This song is a... this song very clearly explains fully all the faith I have in humanity and so-called civilization. It's called... it's called 'The World Is Full Of Crashing Bores'..." After the song Morrissey told some heckler "Yes my man? You see you really don't have anything to say... Or maybe you're just shy in crowds... What? But you are one of my children!... Jesus!"
Morrissey had a difficult time introducing the vegetarian anthem "Meat Is Murder": "Now, the whole world knows, that this is a really really macho country... I mean... (Alain mumbles something) Sorry, Alain? (Alain repeats) Did anybody hear that? No, it's a frequent problem... You know this is a really macho country and people are really macho... (some heckler shouts something) I think we have a heckler! (Morrissey giggles and takes on funny mocking voice) He's come all the way from Darwin! On his bicycle!... (Back to topic) As I was saying about 12 days ago (returns to pirate-like voice), this is a really macho country and we know that you love to eat animals... Kill'em! Shoot'em! Fish'em! Squeeze'em! Press'em! Electrocute'em! And wear'em! (back to normal voice, actually a sad sounding one) But we don't and... and if you look over your shoulder you might see that the world is changing..."
Following "Meat Is Murder" Morrissey proceeded with the introduction of his band: "I wonder if you'd mind if I introduced you to these four brawny rugby players... maybe you would, I don't know... He with bottle in hand, his name is Boz... and a very genuine g'day to Gary... and the man with the beard is Deano... and the man who cannot grow a beard is Alain... and I've just come along to make sure nobody is smoking..." This was followed with the introduction of the next planned number: "This song is called, well you don't need to know really, 'Irish Blood, English Heart'..." Right before going into "Late Night, Maudlin Street" Morrissey asked someone "Sorry? Yeah, what about 'This Charming Man', hmm? (fans answers) No, no-no-no-no-no-no, what are you trying to say? I am not from the Smiths! Jesus! Help!... Let's get to Sydney, quick! Just kidding! It's her fault!" Then over the first notes of the song he added "I am from the Cure! (pause) Definitely kidding..."
Over the final bars of "Late Night, Maudlin Street" Morrissey very emotionally said "Thank you a million million times, a million times... thank you friends... thank you... thank you... it's all I can say, thank you, thank you, thank you Boz, thank you..." He carried on saying 'thank you' into the following song, "November Spawned A Monster". After the song there were more thank you's and then "Thank you for staying for sss-so long... you made a happy man very old... Our little bus outside has ADELAIDE written on it..." Before going into the encore Morrissey's final significant words of the evening were: "Now we don't want to twist your arm or anything... thank you, I said thank you 500 times, so I dunno, thank you... Before we take off into the wilderness, just remember that God is always with you, Oscar Wilde is always with you (crowd cheers) and Julia, you'll notice that Oscar Wilde received the bigger 'yeah!' than God! And remember Johnny Thunders is always with you..."
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