"Vicar In A Tutu"
(Morrissey/Marr)

These lyrics are transcribed in light blue as they appear in the "The Queen Is Dead" album and are reproduced here without permission. Variations between the printed lyrics and what is sung by Morrissey are indicated in darker text for additions and omissions are deleted.

I was minding my business
lifting some lead off ¹
the roof of the Holy Name church
it was worthwhile living a laughable life
just to set my eyes on the blistering sight
of a vicar in a tu-tu
he's not strange
he just wants to live his life this way
A scanty bit of a thing
with a decorative ring
that wouldn't cover the head of a child goose ²
as Rose collects the money in a the cannister
who comes sliding down the bannister
the vicar in a tu-tu
he's not strange
he just wants to live his life this way
The monkish monsignor
with a head full of plaster
said: "My man, get your vile soul dry-cleaned"
as Rose counts the money in the cannister ³
as natural as Rain
he dances again
My God
the vicar in a tu-tu
the vicar in a tu-tu
The next day in the pulpit
with Freedom and Ease
combating ignorance, dust and disease
as Rose counts the money in the cannister
as natural as Rain
he dances again, and again, and again and
the fabric of a tu-tu
any man could get used to
and I am a living sign.
I'm a living sign
I am a living sign
I'm a living sign
I am a living sign
I'm a living sign, sign
I am a living sign.

 

² Generally speaking, Morrissey stuck more to the lyrics as printed when he sang this song live, so most corrections above, particularly the child/goose one, didn't apply.

³ Live, as heard on the live album "Rank", Morrissey has been known to occasionally sing this line as "as Rose collects the money in the cannister".