"Vicar In A Tutu"
(Morrissey/Marr)

 

These words are transcribed without permission the way they appear in the "The Queen Is Dead" album. Additions to the printed lyrics are in darker text while omissions are striken out.

I was minding my business
lifting some lead off 1
the roof of the Holy Name church 2
it was worthwhile living a laughable life 3
just to set my eyes on the blistering sight
of a vicar in a tu-tu
he's not strange
he just wants to live his life this way
A scanty bit of a thing
with a decorative ring
that wouldn't cover the head of a child goose 4
as Rose collects the money in a the cannister 5
who comes sliding down the bannister
the vicar in a tu-tu
he's not strange
he just wants to live his life this way
The monkish monsignor
with a head full of plaster
said: "My man, get your vile soul dry-cleaned"
as Rose counts the money in the cannister 5,6
as natural as Rain
he dances again
My God
the vicar in a tu-tu
the vicar in a tu-tu
The next day in the pulpit
with Freedom and Ease
combating ignorance, dust and disease
as Rose counts the money in the cannister 5
as natural as Rain
he dances again, and again, and again and
the fabric of a tu-tu
any man could get used to
and I am a living sign.
I'm a living sign
I am a living sign
I'm a living sign
I am a living sign
I'm a living sign, sign
I am a living sign.

 

1 Live, as heard on the live album "Rank", Morrissey has been known to occasionally sing this line as "I was lifting some lead off". When he resurrected the song in the summer of 2008 he did this again.

2 When the song returned to Morrissey's sets in the summer of 2008 Morrissey sang "the roof of the Salford Lads Club", a reference to the recent theft of building material which had been purchased to repair the roof of the Club, a famous Smiths-related landmark and shrine.

3 In the summer of 2008 Morrissey often sang "it was worthwhile living a miserable life just to set my eyes on the blistering sight".

4 Generally speaking, Morrissey stuck more to the lyrics as printed when he did this song live (whether in the Smiths or solo), so most corrections above, particularly the child/goose one, didn't apply.

5 When the song was resurrected in the summer of 2008, after being faithful to the original lyrics for a few shows, Morrissey started changing these lines. Instead of counting or collecting the money in the cannister, Rose started stealing it, until the line evolved into "as Rose steals money from parishioners".

6 Live, as heard on the live album "Rank", Morrissey has been known to occasionally sing this line as "as Rose collects the money in the cannister".