This song was demoed by Morrissey in May 1990 but never released. Its lyrics are transcribed without permission, as they are heard in the versions leaked on bootlegs.
Bending the rules
of a late night card game
Where the loser removes
an item of clothing
You're dreading each deal
so urgent and grave
Have a shufty over your shoulder
well it's a shady game
and I want to lose
Please let me lose
Please let me lose
it's nothing to you
it's nothing to you
This reshuffled pack
brings back the sick curse of luck
because the ace in my hand
is such a shock
Exchanging a king for your two
while you're out of the room
Have a shufty over your shoulder
(well all the same it's a shady game)
and I want to lose
Please let me lose
Please let me lose
it's nothing to you
it's nothing to you
I'm cutting this queen
(well this six is chewed)
you're all undisguised
(I'm stuck on shoes)
So have you ever met a bad winner?
"Well how do you do?"
Jack! Ace! Queen! King!
no! no-no! no-no! no-no!
no... no... no...
They won't let me lose
I'm bending the rules
of a late night card game
Morrissey in The Face magazine, 1990: "There's a song called Striptease With A Difference which is about playing a game of cards wherein the loser of each game has to take off an item of clothing. And it's about secretly hoping one loses and in fact manipulating the game towards that end."