This Gilbert O'Sullivan cover was never recorded by Morrissey for official release. It was only performed twice in Dublin in 2002. The original song's lyrics are transcribed here without permission and the few slight changes made by Morrissey are noted below.

If I give up the seat I've been saving
To some elderly lady or man
Am I being a good boy
Am I your pride and joy
Mother please if you're pleased say I am ¹
And if while in the course of my duty
I perform an unfortunate take
Would you punish me so, unbelievably so
Never again will I make that mistake

This feeling inside me could never deny me
The right to be wrong if I choose
And this pleasure I get
From say winning a bet
Is to lose

When I'm drinking my Bonaparte Shandy
Eating more than enough apple pies ²
Will I glance at my screen and see real human beings
Starve to death
Right in front of my eyes

Nothing old, nothing new, nothing ventured
Nothing gained, nothing still-born or lost
Nothing further than proof nothing wilder than youth
Nothing older than time nothing sweeter than wine
Nothing physically, recklessly, hopelessly blind
Nothing I couldn't say
Nothing why 'cos today
Nothing rhymed

This feeling inside me could never deny me *
The right to be wrong if I choose *
And this pleasure I get *
From say winning a bet *
Is to lose *

Nothing good, nothing bad, nothing ventured *
Nothing gained, nothing still-born or lost *
Nothing further than proof nothing wilder than youth *
Nothing older than time nothing sweeter than wine *
Nothing physically, recklessly, hopelessly blind *
Nothing I couldn't say *
Nothing why 'cos today *
Nothing rhymed *

 

¹ In both performances of this song Morrissey sang "If you're pleased would you please say I am".

² In both performances of this song Morrissey sang "Eating more than enough apple pie".