This song has yet to appear on an album. Its lyrics are transcribed here without permission as they are heard on the Janice Long session version (the only official audio release of the song).

He can't dance or sing
He can't do anything
But what the hell?
The kid's a looker
Just add cash and stir
And there you are,
another nonsense non-star

There's no pretense
This kid is dense
But what the hell?
The kid's a looker
Just add cash and stir
And the crass consumers line up
Shoulder to shoulder

Sometime
Through the night
The kid took his life
So very sad
However do not call this number again
We're busy molding the face
Of the kid's replacement