This song has yet to appear on an album (the lyrics supplied by the Japanese label in the "Rare Tracks" compilation of 1997 b-sides are incorrect). The song's lyrics are transcribed here as they are heard, without permission.

Staring in the window
Of the shop that never opens
Planning my selection
From all the treats inside
Should I take as I desire?
Oh shall I? Oh shall I?
Or should I hang around to be inticed inside ¹

I'm trying to explain to myself
I can have both
I'm trying to explain to the voice inside
I can have both
I can have both
There's nobody around to say no
We've brainwashed the small shy boy inside
He doesn't know
He can have both

Smiling through the window
To the one who never serves you
I've not been feeling myself tonight ²
Should I take as I feel like it?
Well shall I? Oh shall I?
Or should I wait and hope ¹
To be dragged inside

I'm trying to explain to myself ³
I can have both
I'm trying to explain to the voice inside
I can have both
I can have both
There's nobody around to say no
We've brainwashed the small shy boy inside
He doesn't know
He can have both

I can have both ⁴
There's no need to choose
Because I can have both
There's no need to choose
I can have both
There's no need to choose
Because I can have both
There's no need to choose
I can have both
There's no need to choose

 

² When Morrissey did this song live on the North American leg of the Oye Esteban tour he sometimes followed this line with the contradictory "...yes, I have!".

³ When Morrissey did this song live on the North American leg of the Oye Esteban tour he often extended this line to "I'm trying to explain to you, I can have both".

⁴ When Morrissey did this song live on the 2000 half of the Oye Esteban tour the band always played the instrumental portion from this point on, but Morrissey never did the vocals. He only hummed, adlibbed or kept silent.