15 October 2002|
The Forum, Melbourne, Australia
I Want The One I Can't HaveThe fourth stop on this Australian stretch of the 2002 tour, and the first of two non-consecutive dates in Melbourne, was a success. Morrissey as well as his fans were very much into it. There was no change in the setlist, it was still the shorter 16-song one as on the previous date.
Morrissey came on stage and greeted his audience with "It's taken a mere 20 years... but we're here and we're happy and that's all we can hope for..." After "Little Man, What Now?" he added "Thank you for coming along here tonight, I'm sure it was a tough choice between me and Beatrice Arthur... as you can see there's no difference!" After "Hairdresser On Fire" he thanked the audience with "Thank you friends..." then declared "This is certainly the nicest and best city in Australia so (crowd cheers)... so if you're thinking of moving to Perth or Darwin, I wouldn't bother if I were you... this is called 'The First Of The Gang To Die'."
After the latter number Morrissey addressed his most assiduous fan as well as other 'irregular regulars': "Hello to you Julia, as always... I hope you're okay... Are you sure? Are you eating properly? No you're not... You need some Weetabix and bran flakes and real food... And hello to our irregular regulars... you know who you are... I hope!" Then "Jack The Ripper" was introduced with the line "This is a song about a man who loved women so much he collected their livers." After the song he replied to someone "Where to? I'm ready!" then said "I must apologise to people in the front because... I have trouble with S's and I spray a lot so (crowd cheers)... Spittle... It's really a wild city..."
New composition "I Like You" was introduced with "This song is... is about you!, it's called... it's called... (someone shouts the title) What? How come you know? What? It's called 'I Like You'." After the song replied to someone "Yes friend, what's wrong? Cross my palm in silver and I will reveal all..." He then said "I'd also like to mention that in Australia there's a company which is called Morrissey which... Have you heard of them? (crowd: yes!) Well... Well, yes, they sell see-through underwear and things like that and bla-di-bla-di-bla and... I just want you to know it's nothing to do with me, nothing to do with me..."
After "Everyday Is Like Sunday" Morrissey first said "Thank you for being so generous..." then replied to someone asking him if he liked the theatre: "Say that slowly? The theatre? You mean this place? Or theatre in general? Oh you mean this place... Is the carpet sticky? No? I do ask silly questions..." New song "The World Is Full Of Crashing Bores" was introduced with the line "This, you'll be astounded to hear, is a new song... yes, it's possible, it's possible and... (gets interrupted by fan) and, yeah? You make strange noises... (returns to introduction) This is something I realised when I was four days old... it's called 'The World Is Full Of Crashing Bores'."
Morrissey bridged the gap between the latter song and "Meat Is Murder" with a long rant: "The world is full of crashing bores and, nowhere moreso than on CNN which, today, by accident, I was watching and there was a story, very quickly told, about how 27 million cooked chickens, dead chickens, were recalled in the United States because they realised that they were deadly for humans... And this story - did anybody see that story? Did you? Well it was extraordinary because it was just a flash on the television, of course, and... What? Feel free, join in, I don't mind... But the point is that these 27 million chickens that were recalled probably could have killed, I don't know, 80 million people and been more deadly than the nuclear bomb and it's just a little old flash on the news, I wonder why... And, do you really still believe that the meat industry is not the biggest political movement in the world?"
After the latter number Morrissey told the appreciative audience "You can stop now..." Then someone in the audience shouted "Morrissey, I'm having your baby!", everyone laughed, and Morrissey deadpanned "I don't know why you're laughing because it isn't impossible you know... Mind you, I'm crap in bed so maybe it is..." Following "Irish Blood, English Heart" he said "Thank you that song was called 'Irish Blood, English Heart' and I knew you'd understand..."
Before going into main set closer "Speedway" Morrissey said "You have been a joy to behold... you're nicer than you know... you're nicer than you realize... believe me..." When he came back on stage after a short break for the encore, his final words were "Thank you for being so wonderful... we won't forget you... I'll always remember... What? Melbourne?... Always remember, God is with you, Oscar Wilde is with you, Johnny Thunders is with you, what more could you need?"
This is sometimes found under a later Melbourne visit (19 October 2002) on the internet.
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